Reflective Essay

I am abstract in every way. I think and see with just the idea and the outline. Sometimes I wonder if being semi-blind would change much, as long as I could see the main idea. My art medium that I prefer is oil pastels and watercolor with salt. My favorite thing to do when I hear art is get out my oil pastels and just rub. It gets me out of my perfectionist self and helps me come to terms with being imperfect. Briana is who I am known as and who I am.
First and foremost I am a lonely wolf. I sit like a chameleon, in the back of the room. Watching as everyone goes about their life. I am not the type of person to be remembered, or to be taken pictures with and hung on a tack board with their friends. No, I am the one who is friends with everyone but not best friends with anyone. I sit in my room, reflecting on my choices, my wrongs and my rights. I am a night person. Just like a whisper in the wind.
I am a shy and intelligent person. I usually have a book in hand. Reading is my life. Stories even more so, I read them, write them, act and share them. I like to create something that I could never be or something so like me it is amazing. I like using better and more extravagant words and phrases. Books are like a brick wall that keeps you from reality and lets you take refuge.
I am simple. I just am. It is me. As well as I am it. I like it clean. I like it neat. I like it just the way it is. It must be bold. It must be dramatic. It must be unique. I think I would like it, if everything wasn’t so complicated. I could just be. And we could all just be together.
It might surprise you that while I can be lonely, shy, and simple I can also be loud, bright, and beautiful. Like a flowering daisy I can become. When the right people and the right circumstances are aligned I shine. If you are the reason, for my pleasure, you should be pleased to be so special. As someone may go a lifetime without that feeling, of being the reason. For material is not the key, it is being there, at the right time, saying the right thing and being in the right mood. When I am like this, I am as happy as a clam could be and sometimes even more than that. I can surprise even the most knowing people, because it is completely random.
I can be in a bubble sometimes, unreachable. Sometimes that is just me, holding everything at an arms distance and other times that is just where I am. Sometimes I am pounding my fists against the rubbery wall and other times I am in butterfly pose being content to just be.
I am abstract. I am a lonely wolf. I am shy. I am loud. I am simple. And I am in a bubble. Some things will never change. Just like, I will always be Briana. I am much more than just words. For words are just empty shells. When you put meaning into them, I feel I fit the description.